tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81102069431166375912024-03-13T04:40:59.253-04:00Learning to Fly<center>A trial at journaling again to see if I can make it work for me.</center>
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<center>No negative energy here please!</center>
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<center>I am Pagan. I am finding my way. Positive energies are always welcome.</center>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-28996082101937167972020-04-16T14:46:00.000-04:002020-04-16T14:36:06.996-04:00Flying <a href="https://hideuri.com/8Y6EO6">https://hideuri.com/8Y6EO6</a>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-15288464866202254182018-03-29T17:58:00.000-04:002018-03-29T17:59:04.703-04:00<div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'>Hiya flying<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'><a href="https://goo.gl/JYzViw">https://goo.gl/JYzViw</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><o:p></o:p></span></font></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:15px;font-family:sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p></div>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-3220798109975970152018-01-07T20:34:00.001-05:002018-01-07T20:34:13.961-05:00good morning Flying
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<br><a href="https://goo.gl/UTYwcv">https://goo.gl/UTYwcv</a>
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<br><a href="https://goo.gl/cFC76c">https://goo.gl/cFC76c</a>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-31157041319756873822017-10-03T03:10:00.001-04:002017-10-03T03:10:21.382-04:00Good afternoon Flying
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<br><a href="http://bit.ly/2fDnxVI">http://bit.ly/2fDnxVI</a>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-83335520309494181962017-03-13T15:19:00.001-04:002017-03-13T15:19:51.473-04:00good afternoon Flying
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<br><a href="http://radioalegria.es/zahlarten.php?france=udae2fhfk5050">http://radioalegria.es/zahlarten.php?france=udae2fhfk5050</a>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-45162753121049163642016-03-08T07:19:00.001-05:002016-03-08T07:19:33.589-05:00hello flyingHi flying
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<br><a href="http://lobosplace.com/plate.php?thin=12dyxg8h25et">http://lobosplace.com/plate.php?thin=12dyxg8h25et</a>
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<br>Thanks so muchShaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-33993527374754795432013-03-25T22:56:00.000-04:002013-05-02T22:09:55.981-04:00My shitSo, everyone is telling their story... I guess it's time to tell mine. I spent the last few days mulling this over, and deciding if I wanted to tell it or not, it brings up a lot of pain and heartbreak, but it brought it up for everyone else, too. I like what Raven said best about it: it lets people know that they aren't alone.<br />
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So here's my story.<br />
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I have some good memories of child hood, they are mostly of my dad. I remember him hooking the sled to the lawn tractor and pulling my brother and I around in the snow, and we'd fall off, and then run like hell trying to catch him and get back on again. I remember dad coming home from sales trips and some little trinket he had brought me, and the hugs and how much I missed him. <br />
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I remember mom's college graduation, and how proud she was of being an RN. I remember mom sleeping on the couch during the day because she worked graveyard. <br />
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I remember my cousin putting a towel on the sofa and laying me down and putting make up on me, and us just being girls, and I remember some very nice memories of my grandparents.<br />
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These are some of the good memories...<br />
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Mostly what I have are bad memories: my brother and I huddled in my room afraid because mom and dad were screaming and fighting with each other, I remember when mom and dad got divorced. This is when most of the bad stuff starts... the stuff I remember anyway.<br />
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When I look back, I realize that my dad probably shielded my brother and I from the worst side of our mom. I am convinced that there is a lot from early childhood that I blocked out for some reason or another. The divorce started the bad stuff. My mom had a prescription drug problem, and had a position as a Director of Nursing at one of the nursing homes. When her patients died, she had been taking their narcotics instead of disposing of them properly. My dad had taken those drugs to use as evidence against my mom in court. My mom guilt tripped me, at the tender age of about 12, to sneak in to where my dad had them, and flush them down the toilet for her. Not long after that, I was in the car with my mom when she tried to run over my dad with the car. He was on crutches from having knee surgery. I don't know how she didn't kill him that night. <br />
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Mom got progressively worse, she was a master manipulator, and was very emotionally and mentally abusive. What ever was wrong, it was my fault, or my brother's. We moved around a lot after mom and dad split. Mostly around the same town, but I was constantly in a new school, and since things at home were so rough, I put all my energy in to reading and school work. It was what I had. I didn't get to go to slumber parties, nor do I remember ever being invited to one. I didn't get to have friends over. <br />
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Mom got worse as I got older, or maybe I just remember it better. My mom married a man who leered suggestively at me as I developed in to a teenager. My mom had a child with this man, but he had as many mental health issues as she did. They fought furiously as well, usually with him drunk or strung out on some kind of medicine, while my mom tried to buy her way in to my heart. Some time around this period, my brother went to live with our dad, but my mom had convinced me that my dad was worthless and shirking his duties as a father and I wouldn't even speak to him. Dad remarried, and I had a step-sister who delighted in always getting the blame for bad things placed on me. One more reason I didn't want to go see my dad. I know this sounds pretty mundane, but it wasn't. It was far worse that I have words to describe. On more than one occassion, I was witness to my step dad beating my mom, then screaming at her to shut up, then demanding that she talk to him, and then threatening to beat her some more if she didn't shut up. It was a no win situation. He'd go off on a bender, and then come back to her with nice presents to show that he was sorry, and had changed. Mom took out her aggression on me. The same way, screaming and yelling and telling me how worthless I was. Then she would also be sorry, and buy nice things for me. <br />
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When my mom left my step dad, that was a huge long ordeal, it spanned a lot of years as they divorced and remarried each other several times. My step dad and mom got into huge battles in court, often putting me in the middle. My step dad kidnapped my sister at one point, and the police had to bring her back. <br />
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I found ways to disappear in to my own world. I was in the chorus in both middle and high schools. I got bullied and picked on in middle school and had no one to talk to. I got made fun of constantly for one stupid reason or another. But a lot of that changed when I hit high school. <br />
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I wasn't the only fish in the sea, and I developed friendships of my own. I was in the band as a member of the color guard. I enjoyed spending as much time away from home as possible. When I was at home, I was always rehearsing something, whether it was music from choir, or doing my flag routines in the back yard until it was too dark to see. I did every assignment, and every extra credit assignment I could, as a way to escape from what was going on at home. Around this time, I became the babysitter for my sister. I liked it alright enough, but I had no basis for comparison. My mom began stealing, as a means to make herself feel better. She was actually arrested for theft, and had to spend time in jail for it. That was the time I got to spend at a friend's house. <br />
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My mom began to resent my friends, and found reasons why I couldn't talk to them. I hadn't done enough chores, I didn't do well enough on X project for school, I spent too much time in band and chorus. <br />
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Mom's mental and emotional abuse got worse, and I was supposed to be her companion, and love her no matter what. I was supposed to be loyal, dammit. She started drinking, and I started sneaking out. At first with my cousin, and we'd drink a little and raise some hell, and I'd go home. Sometimes it was while my mom worked nights, and sometimes, it was just because. I learned that I don't like alcohol. All this time, I was generally a good girl. I didn't have sex, I didn't fool around too much with boys, because good girls didn't do that. Good girls are not sluts. My mom started attacking my self esteem. I was maybe 100-120 lbs, and my ass was "two ax-handles wide." It was always something to cut me down and make me hate myself. The next couple of years are a little jumbled up.<br />
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I remember one night, mom and I had went to my aunt's house. We were fighting with each other over something stupid. She screamed, she drug me outside and screamed. She left me, she came back. She kept telling me that the police would make me come home because they didn't like runaways. And she left again, saying that she didn't want me. Now, my grandmother was at my aunt's house that night, and I remember when my mom came back the last time, she grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out of my chair and I put my hands up to keep her from pulling out my hair, she took this as a sign that I was fighting back, or maybe she just wanted a reason. I lost some time here, the next memory is of my aunt and my grandmother pulling my mom off of me. I was lying on my back on the floor with my hands over my head while she beat the shit out of me.<br />
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I was beaten at that point. I very quietly got in the car and rode home with her. When we got home, my mom got my sister, who was maybe 4 out of the car and started in to the house with her. I watched her go, and I turned and ran. I ran for my life. I went through back yards, and around houses and I could hear her screaming for me as she drove through the neighborhood looking for me. I don't know how long I avoided her and ran in the night, terrified that she would kill me if she caught me, and I ran. I went to a girl's house a few miles from my own and beat on the door until her mother opened it. It was late for a school night, and I was there, trembling, and covered in sweat and dirt, probably obviously beaten, and crying. I know I said something along the lines of "please help me, my mom beat me up and she will kill me if she finds me now." I remember Ann coming out, and the police showing up. I remember going to an institution of some kind for kids that was full of all the really bad kids. I remember going to another home, with half a dozen kids. I think i stayed there about a week. I remember my aunt meeting me somewhere that wasn't at the home to bring me some of my clothes. She asked me why I was doing this to my mother. Yes the same aunt that watched her nearly kill me in her dining room. <br />
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I went to a foster home after that. It was better than my house had been. I wasn't beaten, yelled at, or emotionally destroyed there. Not by the adults. They had 2 children that were about my age that were their own kids. As with my step sister, my foster sister was really good at making me feel like she was my friend, and then blaming me for the bad things she did. I don't remember how long I lived there, but I was a teenager, and I was finally allowed to date! I got to go out, and have some fun, be a kid. I was 17 when I lost my virginity to a preacher's son. He later broke up with me to go out with my foster sister. I hear that he got her pregnant and they got married. *shrugs* <br />
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While I was in foster care, my mom went to court, she told the judges how my friends were a bad influence on me, she got them to make a court order so that I couldn't talk to them any more. Naturally, the lawyers and all talked to my friend's parents, and they weren't allowed to speak to me anymore. i was alienated from everyone. I was alone. At the end of that semester, i was transferred to the high school that my foster family was zoned for, and I tried to start again. A few months after that, my mom went to the judges again and filed to relinquish her rights to me. I remember my case worker picking me up and taking me to meet in the Judge's office while my mother sat there and told him how she didn't want me any more. I was brave. I didn't cry. Now, despite everything I had went through to this point, I loved my mother deeply. And I was breaking that my mother, who always told me how badly she had wanted to get pregnant with me no longer wanted me. She was throwing me away. <br />
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I went to live with my aunt at some point after that. I finished out that year at that high school. I had my own problems with my aunt, who wanted to know why I was airing family business in public. It was our business, and no one needed to know about it. But I kept wondering that if it was family business, why wasn't anyone helping me? No one wanted to talk about mom's drug problems, or her drinking problem, or the way she beat me up physically, emotionally, or mentally. I should say at this point, my mom had attempted suicide multiple times. Someone always bailed her out. Someone always picked her up, someone always rode to her rescue. Where was my help?<br />
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I was convinced sometime during my senior year, that my mom really did love me, and that I should go back to live with her. So I did. I remember her moving us (my mom, my sister, and myself) to South Carolina, so we could have a new start. She would make really good money at a hospital there, and it would all be better. Mom didn't do well there. And she had her babysitter built in there. I would get up in the morning, get my sister ready and drop her off at daycare on my way to school. When school got out, I would change clothes in the car on the way to my job at the mall. When the mall closed, I would finish my work, and drive home, where my sister would be asleep in the floor with a movie played in to static on the VCR, and mom would be passed out drunk somewhere in the house. I'd pick up my sister and carry her to bed, then I would wrestle my drunk mom to her bed. She would vomit on me, or pee on me, or both most nights on that journey. I remember when she wanted help, and the local people to help wanted to take my sister because I wasn't 18 yet. So we moved back to Tennessee. Mom kept drinking, and I tried to finish my senior year. I remember a couple of places we lived. I remember singing my sister to sleep every night. I remember hiding mom's liquor and then fighting with her because she couldn't find it. I remember graduation.<br />
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I moved away from home soon after that. I moved in with a boyfriend, and then we moved to Sevierville. I waited tables, and he cooked. I smoked a lot of pot. I partied. I talked to mom on the phone sometimes, she usually found something to make me feel badly about myself. Several years passed. I got pregnant with my son while living in Kentucky. It was an accident. I was trying to leave that boyfriend at the time, as he was as abusive as she was. I couldn't leave while I was pregnant. My son's father was my mother made over. I stayed with him for a short time, and then I left him while he was at work one night. I had squirreled away tip money for a Uhaul and arranged for my mom to meet me at our apartment that night to help. Yes, I turned to my mom for help. It was all I knew.<br />
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I lived in an apartment for a while with my son. I helped my mom with her new business until I fell in love. Then I moved to Knoxville. One morning, I was called downstairs by some men beating on the door. These men were the FBI, it seems my mom had been doing a lot of bad things and she was telling the FBI that it was all my doing. I should add in here that mom was always telling me that my dad or my sister's dad was out to get her, and take away her money. So while she was forming her business, I was talked in to letting her put my name on it, opening a checking account for her. She had also bought a house, and had it put in my grandmother's name. <br />
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The FBI told me that morning that what I had to say would depend on whether I sat at the defense table with my mother, or whether I would be a witness for the prosecution. I told them that I didn't have anything to hide, as I had done nothing wrong. To make a long story short, my mom did time in a federal prison for laundering money. My sister lived with a different aunt while she was locked up. I wrote to her while she was in prison, but she never wrote back. <br />
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When mom got out, she got my sister back, and my sister had gotten a taste of normal life. She wasn't happy with our mother's tyranny. There were a lot of fights, and mom still had drug and alcohol problems. The night that sticks out in my mind is the night I thought she had killed herself. I was working for Rural Metro and had called mom to see how she was. It was obvious that she was all doped up on something. I asked to talk to my sister, and mom kept passing out. I called my grandmother and asked her to check on her, and mamaw was no help. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I called the county dispatch for the city she lived in and told them who I was. I outlined the situation, and asked them to send police and an ambulance to her house, and to please find my sister. <br />
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My mom had overdosed on gods know what, and my sister was missing. Mom was eventually admitted to a psych hospital, and I spent days wondering where my sister was, and worrying. I begged the police to tell me that she was ok. She had also run away. While mom was in the mental hospital, she talked to me a few times, and she was just as mean as she ever was. She ended up going back to prison for breaking her probation. <br />
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I was stuck in a bad relationship at this time, with yet another man who was my mother made over. I still cannot speak about a lot of the things that went on with my ex. I can tell you that I believe that he was an alcoholic, and he thought he was a good man and good for me, but my own experiences do not reflect that. I tried to make that work for many years. I was convinced that I would make my relationship work: I was wrong, I needed to change, I could fix it, until one day... I had had enough. <br />
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Just before I left my ex, my mother died in her home quite unexpectedly. She and I never got to mend our fences, and I regret that still. My son now lives with his father. My son does not trust Raven because of poor choices that I made. I will never forgive myself for putting him through that. I hope that one day, maybe he can forgive me.<br />
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I have sat here and typed for almost 2 hours, now. My hands hurt, and my eyes sting. I have not covered nearly everything, but hopefully I have shed some light on some things. Maybe now it makes sense to some of you why I get anti-social, and go all hermit like and don't talk to people. <br />
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I know I count myself blessed every day that I am not a raving lunatic, and that Raven and I found each other. I also thank the gods every day that I have friends now, and people who choose to build me up instead of beat me down. If you have questions, please feel free to ask. I don't mind, and I hope that I can help someone at some time. <br />
<br />Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-73118270486951175252012-07-08T19:20:00.000-04:002012-07-08T19:20:03.472-04:00HurtSo I am left wondering what's wrong with me...<br />
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I found out about a week ago that my sister is living with my dad's friend's son. That sounds pretty convoluted, but it isn't. Also, she's pregnant. Ok, so no big, she's preggo, I will check it out. So I get home from work, and find out that she's on the way to the hospital to have the baby. Wow...<br />
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Also, none of this information is from her, it came from my dad to start with, and then the info about being on the way to the hospital from her fiancee's mother's wall on FaceBook. I was incredibly hurt that she hadn't thought enough of me to call me in the last eight months or so. I mean, really?<br />
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The next day I find out from my brother that she's back on Facebook and he has been talking to her, and knew that she was pregnant. WTF? Really? I can't figure out why no one has thought it worthwhile to tell me besides my dad. <br />
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You may think: "you know, you could call her too." You're right, I could, if she wasn't known for being irresponsible and disappearing and changing all her phone numbers and email addresses for months at a time. <br />
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If we hadn't ever been close, I could understand it. I really could, but I raised her until she was 6 when I got out of our abusive home. I have had a tremendous amount of survivor's guilt because I left, and left her there. I tried to help her when our mom tried to kill her when she was 15ish, when she turned her back on me and chose a life with people who let her do whatever she wanted. I get that, she's a kid, she wants to have fun and do what she wants to do, not what someone else tells her is best. Later, I let her and her husband move in with me and my husband because his parents owned the house they lived in and were giving them all kinds of hell. She never paid rent, she was there for 2 months and never pitched in on anything, but bought groceries once. She didn't work, and we let her drive our car and move like 4 freaking cats in with us. <br />
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When her grandmother died (she and I have different fathers), her Aunt called me so that I could get ahold of her and let her know, first when she was sick, and then when she actually died. Because they didn't know how to get ahold of her. When I finally did get ahold of her, after jumping through all kinds of hoops because, finding her and letting her know was the right thing to do: she never even said "Thanks." Never mind that I went to a lot of trouble to find her. <br />
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Now, she has finally friended me on Facebook again, and I go to her page to see what she's been up to and I am hurt all over again. There are pictures of her at her baby shower and all. I should be there for those things. I'm hurt that she doesn't want anything to do with me, and doesn't even seem to care anything about me.<br />
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How do I stop caring? How do I not be hurt? I don't know, but sometimes I really wish that I could just cut hurtful people out of my life like they have cut me to the bone. It would be so much easier.<br />
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I can't help but wonder if one of the big lessons that I am supposed to learn in this life is pain and suffering, because I sure do get a lot of it.Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-34148685686761643322012-06-28T21:06:00.002-04:002012-06-28T21:06:39.935-04:00Cleaning out my closetFor years, I have done what a lot of women do: held on to shit I can't wear. I went shopping one day last week with my husband. We came to an agreement: I would try things on and decide what felt good, he told me what looked good. This worked out well for us since I practically avoided the mirror, and he is the weird man who enjoys shopping. <br />
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It made me realize something. I am hanging on to the past. I have the past hanging in my closet and taking up space in my drawers. I am not the past anymore, I am a new woman. I have new hopes and dreams, and new goals. It felt good to be in things that actually fit.<br />
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As much as it pains me, I will probably never fit into a size 10 anything again. But that's ok. I don't need to be a size 10 to be happy. I will continue to work on my health, through diet and exercise, and as I shrink, I will be rewarded with new clothes. Clothes that help accentuate who I am today, not who I was a decade or more ago. <br />
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I like the person I have become, and while I have a few items that I am hanging on to, I am cleaning out my closets! Give me time to be realistic and weed it all out, but, I am facing who I am in the mirror, and I am proud to be me.Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-27485520210293899542012-05-15T22:30:00.004-04:002012-05-16T13:59:18.263-04:00My garden this year<br />
So I've been asked what I am growing this year. I am going to run down the list. Also, keep in mind, I am growing all this in a duplex apartment, with no outside faucet.<br />
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*<a href="http://www.neseed.com/Pea-Seeds-Sugar-Daddy-p/31945.htm" target="_blank">Sugar Daddy Peas</a><br />
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*<a href="http://www.burpee.com/vegetables/peas/snap-edible-pod/pea-super-snappy-prod000794.html" target="_blank">Super Snappy Peas</a><br />
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*<a href="http://gurneys.com/product.asp?pn=14202&sid=0517236&gclid=CN7Ah5_Dg7ACFQaxnQod2WjHlQ" target="_blank">Blue Lake Pole Beans</a><br />
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*<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beefsteak_(tomato)" target="_blank">Red Beefsteak Tomatoes</a><br />
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*<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zuchini" target="_blank">Zuchini</a><br />
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*<a href="http://gurneys.com/straight-eight-slicing-cucumber/p/14531/" target="_blank">Straight Eight Cucumbers</a><br />
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*<a href="http://gurneys.com/california-white-garlic/p/09491/" target="_blank">Garlic</a><br />
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*<a href="http://gardening.about.com/od/plantprofil2/p/Oregano.htm" target="_blank">Mediterranean Oregano</a><br />
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*<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basil" target="_blank">Basil</a><br />
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*<a href="http://pantrygardenherbs.com/?page_id=4496" target="_blank">Mint julep</a><br />
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*<a href="http://www.info-galaxy.com/Herbs/General_Index/Filter/Pineapple_Mint/pineapple_mint.html" target="_blank">Pineapple Mint</a><br />
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*<a href="http://www.localharvest.org/chocolate-mint-plant-C8628" target="_blank">Chocolate Mint</a><br />
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*<a href="http://m.bonnieplants.com/varieties/tabid/61/id/319/Golden-Cayenne.aspx" target="_blank">Golden Cayenne</a><br />
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*<a href="http://www.bigoven.com/recipes/Yellow%20Bell%20Pepper/title" target="_blank">Yellow Bell Pepper</a><br />
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*<a href="http://www.burpee.com/vegetables/spinach/smooth-flat/spinach-salad-fresh-prod000900.html" target="_blank">Spinach</a><br />
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*<a href="http://www.cooksgarden.com/vegetables/lettuce/romaine/lettuce-all-season-romaine-mix-prod000269.html" target="_blank">All Seasons Romaine Lettuce</a><br />
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*Looseleaf Lettuce Mix- includes <a href="http://www.johnnyseeds.com/p-6286-black-seeded-simpson.aspx" target="_blank">Black Seeded Simpson</a>, <a href="http://www.johnnyseeds.com/p-5836-red-saladbowl-red-oak.aspx" target="_blank">Red Salad Bowl</a>, <a href="http://www.burpee.com/Vegetables/lettuce/lettuce-royal-oak-leaf-prod001131.html?cid=PPC" target="_blank">Royal Oak Leaf</a>, <a href="http://www.specialtyproduce.com/produce/Lollo_Rosso_Lettuce_5020.php" target="_blank">Lollo Rossa</a>, & <a href="http://gurneys.com/salad-bowl-lettuce-/p/14620/" target="_blank">Salad Bowl</a><br />
<br />
*[5 peppers from a <a href="http://www.burpee.com/vegetables/peppers/hot-peppers/pepper-hot-salsa-mixture-prod000815.html?catId=3028&trail=" target="_blank">Hot Pepper Mix</a><br />
<br />
*[2 Peppers from a <a href="http://www.burpee.com/vegetables/peppers/sweet-peppers/bell/pepper-sweet-carnival-mix-prod000826.html?catId=3029&trail=" target="_blank">Sweet Heirloom Mix</a><br />
<br />
<br />
I think that's everything! If I could figure out how to grow more, I totally would!Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-33727338577691275542012-05-15T19:14:00.001-04:002012-06-03T16:59:10.865-04:00Revolving list of places I want to camp/hikeSo, if you are curious about where I want to camp and/or hike, check back here frequently. I will keep adding to this list as I can. I also plan to try and write on each hike.<br />
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<br />
*Bald River Falls just outside Tellico and our second favorite campground. North River Campground: Adjacent to North River. Some sites overlook the river. North River is floatable at most of the year Ten tent sites. No flush toilets, no hot showers. Water spigot. Directions: From Tellico Plains, TN, take State Rt. 165 east 9.8 miles to the North River campground sign (Forest Rt. 217). Turn left onto Rt. 217 and go 2.7 miles to campground sign. Turn right into campground. Thanks to my friend Angela Kelsey for the info and inspiration!<br />
<br />
* Panther Creek State Park: Maple Arch Double Loop.<br />
TNStateparks.com<br />
Found in -<u>Five Star Trails Knoxville</u>, Johnny Molloy<br />
*** difficulty<br />
5.5 mile double loop<br />
dogs allowed?<br />
<br />
* Smoky Mountains: Alum Cave Bluff.<br />
nps.gov/grsm<br />
Found in -<u>Five Star Trails Knoxville</u>, Johnny Molloy<br />
*** difficulty<br />
4.6 miles out and back<br />
No dogs allowed, don't go on weekends<br />
<br />
* Smoky Mountains: White Oak Sink.<br />
nps.gov/grsm<br />
Found in -<u>Five Star Trails Knoxville</u>, Johnny Molloy<br />
** difficulty<br />
4.6 miles out and back<br />
No dogs allowed, don't go on weekends<br />
<br />
*Cherokee National Forrest: Slickrock Creek Loop<br />
<a href="http://www.fs.usda.gov/attmain/cherokee/specialplaces">http://www.fs.usda.gov/attmain/cherokee/specialplaces</a><br />
Found in -<u>Five Star Trails Knoxville</u>, Johnny Molloy<br />
*** difficulty<br />
6.4 mile balloon loop<br />
Dogs?Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-31959016611565504112012-05-08T21:41:00.001-04:002012-05-08T21:41:15.002-04:00Thoughts on upset folks & family<br />
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So I got married. I had a beautiful ceremony with some of the people I love best in the world in attendance and helping with the ceremony. <br />
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I am Pagan. This means that it was not a traditional Christian ceremony. I did that once. This was so much more me and more important to me than that first ceremony ever was. <br />
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So, I am getting a lot of hurt feelings vibes from members of my family. I am trying to figure out how to handle those hurt feelings when I made my own decisions and purposefully didn't invite a bunch of people out of respect for their religion and their comfort.<br />
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I wish that my dad could have attended, but let's face it, he would have been intensely uncomfortable and I would have spent a large part of the day worried about him and his comfort and not enjoying my wedding. That doesn't sound like what this special day was supposed to be to me. <br />
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Since the wedding, or, more accurately, the handfasting, I feel like I am getting the silent treatment from my dad, his fiancee, and a lot of the rest of my family. This really hurts me. I have went out of my way to not offend them or make them feel uncomfortable. This includes withholding my religion from them. <br />
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I know my family, and I know that my dad would be the most understanding of all of them and he would still be very disappointed in me because he feels like the only way to heaven is through Jesus. It just isn't the way I feel. It's not my path. <br />
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So for my trouble of trying to spare other people's feelings and emotions, I feel like I am being shunned from my family. My dad hasn't returned my phone calls, and I am worried that he is mad at me, which is what I do- I worry. So I am almost ready to be over it and come out to my family. I just hope that I can do it in an appropriate way and not totally alienate everyone. I do still care what they feel, even if they don't care about what I feel. <br />
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I'm just frustrated and hurt. I thought my family cared more about me than that. Maybe my true family was with me that day, and those are the only ones that matter.<br />
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<br />Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-47256452226788197642012-04-28T14:26:00.001-04:002012-04-28T14:26:44.616-04:00Trying to remain positiveSo, I took some photos today, intending to show myself how I was doing with my diet and exercise. What ended up happening was me feeling badly about myself. They look exactly like pictures I took last September. Maybe a little worse.<br />
<br />
What I am trying to get through my head is that right after I took those pics, I fell off the wagon, and I put on a lot of weight. I also wasn't really weighing myself regularly at that time. <br />
<br />
I am trying to keep up positive thoughts by remembering, that at my heaviest, i was 242 pounds, and I refused to log it on my Spark People site because I was in denial. Something had to be wrong with the scales. Even though they are the ones the hospital uses every day. I was retaining water. Something. Anything. I had a real hard time with that. <br />
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The truth is that for some reason last fall, I put on about 20 pounds in about 3 months. That's hard on a body. Anyone's body. I keep telling myself that I have come a long way from 242 pounds, and am now at 228.7 (as of yesterday) and that I need to keep up the good work!<br />
<br />
I mean, really, losing 14 pounds is no small feat. That took a lot of sweat, a lot of good choices, and I can lose even more. I just have to keep reminding myself, keep up the will power and drive and get off my butt and exercise. <br />
<br />
Hey, I got into a size smaller pants yesterday :) That should keep me going for a while!Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-52370009355084263552012-04-27T13:24:00.000-04:002012-04-27T13:24:41.229-04:00Feeling disappointed and let downSo, I worked hard and got accepted to Walter State's LPN to RN bridge that starts in a week and a half. My advisor at the career center referred me to a lady in a different department for some possible sponsorship for my fees and all. <br />
<br />
That lady told me (and my friend) that there should be no problem getting us sponsored because they had not helped us with anything.<br />
<br />
Today is the deadline to have my tuition and fees paid. I can't get a student loan, not eligible for financial aid like pell grants, and I can't get the lady on the phone. The last time I talked to her was Tuesday when I was on my way up for orientation. I feel like she is avoiding talking to me. I really just want to know one way or the other. <br />
<br />
I think that's fair. I appreciate that she is trying to get me some sponsorship, but I think she should return my phone calls or answer my emails or something. Just tell me- what did the head boss man in Atlanta say? Have we even heard back from him? Anything would be helpful.<br />
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Depression is creeping up on me since I'm not hearing back form her, because if she can't help, then I can't go. <br />
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I don't want to have to wait and be in a program that takes longer.<br />
<br />
*SIGH*Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-57663456567857417212012-04-09T22:06:00.001-04:002012-04-09T22:06:22.714-04:00Getting healthier... little things leading to successSo, I thought it might be good for me to sit down and write about the things that are adding up to success for me and what they mean to me right now.<br />
<br />
First thing is, I have been asking Raven nonstop if he notices a difference in my body since I have been losing weight. What I keep hearing is "Not really, I see you everyday." That changed Sunday afternoon. With out being asked or anything, he finally saw a huge change in how I look and what my body is doing. All he had to say was "DAYUM BABY!" <br />
<br />
Score.<br />
<br />
I had another a-ha moment at school today when a class mate asked me how much weight I have lost, and told me that is shows and I look great. While I still don't feel like I have lost a huge amount (12 pounds), I know it does make a difference, and I can't wait until I have lost a lot more.<br />
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Some of the things that are making me successful are knowing that I need to portion things. When I started playing at trying to lose weight last year, i invested in a digital scale from Walmart. Some of the best money I have spent. While $20 is not a lot, it has sure been worth it to me. I have found that if I portion things out and have snacks and meals ready, i do a lot better. I don't have to guess what a portion is, or spend time getting it all ready every morning before I leave. I have a basket of snacks ready to go on the table, and my lunches made up in the fridge. I throw it in my lunch box and head out the door. <br />
<br />
Taking the extra time to cook up food and portion it is a big time saver, and a waist saver. When I come home from the store, any snack that is not already in individual portions gets put that way fast. I refuse to chance eating a whole bag of snack mix and ruining my diet for the week by being lazy. It also doesn't take me any longer to cook 4 chicken breasts than it does to cook 2, and I have at least 2 lunches done for the next couple of days. <br />
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Learning to weigh and measure things has been a big step for me. It takes dedication to make yourself weigh or measure everything you put in to your body. Committing to doing it, and following through is making my goals turn in to realities. I had this conversation today with another class mate who asked me what I was doing to lose weight. Measuring what you put in to your body is crucial.<br />
<br />
Not circling the parking lot for a close space. I don't mind the walking any more. Even if I'm in a hurry, I still park where ever I happen to find a space and just go on in. It may not seem like a lot of extra walking, but every step adds up. <br />
<br />
Being dedicated to getting my workouts in during the week. I know that in order to be successful at my goals, I have to work for it. I didn't gain all this weight overnight and there is no magic pill or word that is going to take it off overnight. I have to earn it. It's not going to be easy. It is going to require continued dedication, sweat, and probably a few unkind names to my treadmill. It's ok, she can take it. <br />
<br />
Anyway, those are some things I have thought about lately, and I thought it might help someone else... or inspire someone to get to work themselves.Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-23344932636823988142012-04-07T23:59:00.002-04:002012-04-07T23:59:27.570-04:00Role modelingI've come to a conclusion lately. <br />
<br />
Being a role model is kind of awesome. <br />
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I've had several people tell me that I have inspired them to start exercising more. That makes me feel fabulous. I can't even begin to describe the pride I have in myself thinking that I have led people to get healthier.<br />
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<br />Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-54642837883122373632012-03-28T19:54:00.005-04:002012-03-28T19:54:59.958-04:00Woe is my beans...So, I have asked at few different places how to get rid of rolly pollies. I planted my Kentucky Wonders in the same pots and place that I had them last year, and one of the pots was overrun with rolly pollies who were demolishing my tender new bean plants! I was furious! Those little buggers can eat a lot of things in my yard, but not my veggies! <br />
<br />
This has posed quite a problem for me since I hate using chemicals on my garden, which is why I don't even try to grow broccoli, cauliflower, or cabbage any longer. <br />
<br />
Any way, I read that I should sink a little jelly jar into the dirt there, and fill it with stale beer and make sure the dirt goes right up to the edge. The idea is that the little buggers will go up for a drink, fall in, and drown.<br />
<br />
Guess what? It worked. I no longer have a heard of rolly pollies devouring my beans! YAY!Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-71564644147459791592012-03-28T19:52:00.002-04:002012-03-28T19:52:26.696-04:00Next problem to fixNow, I need to come up with an inexpensive way to disguise the unsightly storage area next to the house. We rent, so there is not a lot I can do, and I have to keep the garbage cans and the grill here. <br />
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See what I mean, it's UG-LEE!</div>
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I also would like to have a cheap way to fix the atrocity that the landlord calls a storage shed. It is a structure with four sides, a roof and a floor; however, the roof leaks horribly and the floor is rotting out. This is a problem too, since that is where we keep the weed eater and the lawn mower.<br />
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Good news though, I think the majority of my flowers will be here tomorrow!<br />
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<br />Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-24979154662173337142012-03-21T20:02:00.002-04:002012-03-21T20:07:21.400-04:00Gardens!So, today I got a lot more done in the gardens outside! I finished cleaning out the bed i made last year, and I finished putting down the landscaping fabric and edging the new bed along the back of the house. I also built the frame for my hot pepper bed.<br />
<br />
I was quite please with myself building the bed. A friend donated the lumber for it, and let me borrow a circular saw so I could cut the boards to length. I pretended not to notice when the older gentleman in Lowe's was trying not to laugh at the idea of lil ole me building anything with a hammer, nails and a power saw. I didn't cut myself any and I only smashed my thumb once! YAY ME!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijre8L9Pv_rJ9SSySGIpEz6PKFayC_6IErJ_GzDJKuJ7dkkjS-FoCQLp5H9y91O7BFSLvcYBV8WhrGLPS8Ud4f6GKm8bPZPCNwHgtMEze4WLU-UbgIp-yAqd18uZ6aWSavLTAHsGCzc3U/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijre8L9Pv_rJ9SSySGIpEz6PKFayC_6IErJ_GzDJKuJ7dkkjS-FoCQLp5H9y91O7BFSLvcYBV8WhrGLPS8Ud4f6GKm8bPZPCNwHgtMEze4WLU-UbgIp-yAqd18uZ6aWSavLTAHsGCzc3U/s320/001.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View from the front.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So this is the new hot pepper bed. Now I just need to get raven to dig up the grass from under it, and flip the whole thing over, driving the little corner posts into the ground. That will hold the bed still and keep it from getting bumped and moved around.<br />
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This is the new bed along the back of the house. You can see the two new Heirloom Beefsteak tomato plants already in the ground. I am also planning on putting my sweet pepper plants in this bed. I had originally wanted to put some peas and a cucumber plant in there too and let them climb frames. I just don't know if I have the room there or not now that it's done. <br />
<br />Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-70557106118621355582012-03-20T18:16:00.003-04:002012-03-20T18:16:45.070-04:00"Before" pics of the yard.<br />
Well, sort of before, LOL. I did make the bed in front of the wooden fence today, and all the other stuff is more or less, left over from last year. <div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaipwRG-nDDX88wB9s5uorMdz4zhrwK1CHt5IxE2onzrvOY8xx-OeC4k0v6dmmBaGID_-4D3K0kWDEvv0ZCtAF5_R9EUif5YnL-dEuAUCg7sDd_4MFG6Wv-lI6LocyWOMd2mJ5vN-KcmA/s1600/034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaipwRG-nDDX88wB9s5uorMdz4zhrwK1CHt5IxE2onzrvOY8xx-OeC4k0v6dmmBaGID_-4D3K0kWDEvv0ZCtAF5_R9EUif5YnL-dEuAUCg7sDd_4MFG6Wv-lI6LocyWOMd2mJ5vN-KcmA/s320/034.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The flower bed I put in today</td></tr>
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This picture was made from the front of our place. The rain barrel sits on the corner of the porch directly to the right, the driveway is right there also. This bed has 2 roses in it currently, though I have some things ordered for it. I can't wait until they get here. The things included for this bed are : a zebra grass for the back corner, a <a href="http://springhillnursery.com/passion-flower-clematis/p/77118/">passion flower clematis</a> to climb the fencing, some balloon flowers, Ithuriel's spears,a purple d'Oro lily, poppy anemones, some lewisia, and a sedum border. Some of the items came in a larger amount that I will use, so I may end up giving some of the extra plants away if I don't find a spot for them all in the other spots. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCnrYutdlXYIah7rO4X67nPQtdN1DlEg9Y4MGet1g-13y_Vc7F3elPfbb2f4Ur-J6LuWcjfElrKlu8TTHlBWppWWYbssltex6yHN5A6hhxc0w9OtrapYp_pSCDmtu88tAdbfW3xYrRI0c/s1600/035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCnrYutdlXYIah7rO4X67nPQtdN1DlEg9Y4MGet1g-13y_Vc7F3elPfbb2f4Ur-J6LuWcjfElrKlu8TTHlBWppWWYbssltex6yHN5A6hhxc0w9OtrapYp_pSCDmtu88tAdbfW3xYrRI0c/s320/035.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Future location of raised bed.<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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This photo shows the side yard of the house and the lumber that a friend donated to me so that I can build a raised bed to keep my hot peppers away from everything else. Incidentally, this is where I am going to put that raised bed. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCz4lR2eI8enjCr9caycj9_ssCThdmKEMFGj9bx9Ge5-rT8ETjv_DoJr1oN2Gv7SOw6AJx-07kULyBUznhAu_SKoLeRdZfXxkahknDAX-xAAQfG77jNGd_YTXP07ddQQVAxv52PGpGFQ0/s1600/036.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCz4lR2eI8enjCr9caycj9_ssCThdmKEMFGj9bx9Ge5-rT8ETjv_DoJr1oN2Gv7SOw6AJx-07kULyBUznhAu_SKoLeRdZfXxkahknDAX-xAAQfG77jNGd_YTXP07ddQQVAxv52PGpGFQ0/s320/036.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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You can kind of see the side area here. That big pot on the right of the frame has Sugar Daddy peas in it. There are some smaller pots that you can sort of see to the left that have Kentucky wonder pole beans in them. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_DppCRAW42lU5XwZG05vhxFrHWvLYib7_yONrAm26hHjD4vkaVmrO3vb5gGHAXbP99_c94XJzFR9qc2yyBzWXXQ2GvxxYRlJRlVbrZ597Hiuih_Db-Zo_qWBRlrrEjZPCIC5yNGJ50wg/s1600/037.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_DppCRAW42lU5XwZG05vhxFrHWvLYib7_yONrAm26hHjD4vkaVmrO3vb5gGHAXbP99_c94XJzFR9qc2yyBzWXXQ2GvxxYRlJRlVbrZ597Hiuih_Db-Zo_qWBRlrrEjZPCIC5yNGJ50wg/s320/037.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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In this picture, you can see one of the pots that has beans in it. The window box planter on the ground has spinach in it, the two on the table have 2 kinds of lettuce in them. There is a small pot next to the house on that table that has oregano in it. The bed to the left of this picture still needs some work coming out of the spring. The 3 pots in the front of it have 3 kinds of mint: mint julep, chocolate mint, and pineapple mint. There is also a basil plant there, as well as a citronella with marigolds planted all around it in the big pot (back right of the bed) and the big pot to the left has evening primrose, the beige pot in front of that has white sage planted in it. Immediately next to this bed, you can see the bamboo stakes where my tomatoes go. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWQgy7bkI6PlKG-sg_ZydSq1o1QAt1grRgt3x_Ph6SrfIjAq108ZpyLdCOtp350TCLCWbFp1FfmiJh74-TAvuL7ZGgl2T_LIZPPlB1aFOSJZFBMWFMt2cutSDcYdF-9JSZvYb4yL4N5ck/s1600/038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWQgy7bkI6PlKG-sg_ZydSq1o1QAt1grRgt3x_Ph6SrfIjAq108ZpyLdCOtp350TCLCWbFp1FfmiJh74-TAvuL7ZGgl2T_LIZPPlB1aFOSJZFBMWFMt2cutSDcYdF-9JSZvYb4yL4N5ck/s320/038.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Now, you can see the back of the apartment. I plan on closing in a narrow bed around the tomatoes and running it along the back of the apartment and I have sweet peppers to go in there, and a cucumber, some dill and super snappy peas. </div>
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i think I have my hands full this year, but it sure does feel good!</div>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-12014659478956397422012-03-20T17:51:00.002-04:002012-03-20T17:51:37.524-04:00Rain barrel and spring gardeningSo, the little bit of gardening that I did last year reminded me of how much I love it and how badly I was missing it. With that said, to benefit my mental and spiritual health (not to mention that it's great exercise!), I have decided to invest in gardening this year. <br />
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I should say that I really don't know how to do anything half way, so I am transforming the little yard around my duplex and making it a lush. crop yielding oasis. I took lots of pictures today after I was pretty sure I'd finished for the evening, so that there can be some measure of what all I have done. <br />
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The first thing I am going to post is about the rain barrel. Since my water is included in my rent, the last thing I needed was for the landlord to start complaining about me running up the water bill, even though I am improving his property value. So, I have created a rain barrel. I'm just going to give you all a link to the article I used to make mine.<br />
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<a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B2gdNar_rMtAMjQxNzUxYmItYjU1ZC00YzYzLTgwNjMtZjg1ODA2MjYxMzdk/edit">https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B2gdNar_rMtAMjQxNzUxYmItYjU1ZC00YzYzLTgwNjMtZjg1ODA2MjYxMzdk/edit</a><br />
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I bought a cheap plastic garbage can with a lid from Lowe's along with the other supplies. <br />
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I have less that $20 in it all told, and I am sitting it on some upside down Pepsi crates so that it is above ground level (water can't run uphill). I've uploaded some pics of it via the blogger app on my phone, so you guys can see them.Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-59297500519916829672012-03-20T17:48:00.001-04:002012-03-20T17:56:56.576-04:00Rain barrel<a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-1wagpjArwTk/T2j7EnpMDcI/AAAAAAAAAPA/u3YoiXVGyMo/s0/1332280004308.jpg"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-1wagpjArwTk/T2j7EnpMDcI/AAAAAAAAAPA/u3YoiXVGyMo/s400/1332280004308.jpg" /></a>Here is an up close look at the spigot I put on the rain barrel, and the Pepsi crates I have it sitting on.<br />
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<a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-UiuwvIS9L1Y/T2j7Kyps4FI/AAAAAAAAAPI/L0YYHEXPlnw/s0/1332280048268.jpg"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-UiuwvIS9L1Y/T2j7Kyps4FI/AAAAAAAAAPI/L0YYHEXPlnw/s400/1332280048268.jpg" /></a>And a picture that shows the whole thing. It is sitting underneath where the downspout from the gutter is supposed to be. Last time it rained, it filled up the barrel in about 20 minutes. <br />
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My neighbor tells me that her husband is always throwing out food grade barrels at work. I told her to have him bring me one and I will have a big one and an overflow so when we hit the dry part of the season, it won't be a big deal to water.<br />
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Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4</div>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-44117472055317378052012-01-24T23:23:00.001-05:002012-01-24T23:23:25.351-05:00Shocked and Apalled<div><p>I really should be sleeping but I can't get my mind of of the last thing I did at school today. I'm doing my mental health rotation, and today I was with the mobile crisis ten of oak ridge. </p>
<p>There want really anything going on, and you can't schedule a crisis so I spent some time going through old call sheets. They keep a record of every call they receive, and I saw that a lot of calls are for people seeking drug and alcohol rehab. most of the records show that the client was advised to go to the ER to be evaluated so I asked the team what kind of treatment options are out there.</p>
<p>There are very few places that most people would consider 'rehab.' Most programs are a few days in the hospital to stabilize clients and then they are discharged and expected to do out patient treatment. </p>
<p>There are NO rehab programs available for meth. As big a problem that the hillbilly heroin is, if you get on it, there is no help if you want to get off of it. I was horrified. </p>
<p>I just needed to take a minute to get that out because it had been bothering me ever since I heard it. </p>
<p>What do you guys think?</p>
</div>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0Knoxville, null35.853615 -84.01674tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-56460245759624711852012-01-18T22:29:00.002-05:002012-01-18T22:29:47.347-05:00Genetic Engineering and Eugenics in Modern Obstetrics<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">An important topic for
discussion for any nurse considering women’s health nursing is genetic
engineering and eugenics. Many people
may choose to ignore the reality of this topic, citing religious beliefs.
However, science and technology is rapidly approaching a time when many things
that were once considered science fiction are becoming a reality. The modern
obstetrical nurse needs to be prepared to face these issues when she enters the
work force. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> Science is taking us farther every day, and it is far
from finished with the journey. A
medical fact that is discussed in doctor’s offices far more than we probably
realize is genetic engineering. The
subject matter can be presented in several lights. It can be as unimpeachable as checking the
genetic markers in a fetus for their likelihood of developing Huntington’s
disease or as blatant as designing one’s own child right down to their eye
color. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">BBC
News reports about a six year old boy who had a rare and serious illness. Neither his parents nor his younger sister
were a good enough genetic match for treating his disorder with a bone marrow
transplant, so they made a sibling who was a good match. His parents <b>made </b>a match for him. That’s
right; they just threw together the scientific magic and test tube mixing that
created a baby specifically to be a donor child for their ill son. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> Even the most open minded individuals can be caught off guard
when confronted with the realities of modern genetic engineering. It is not
something that we often think of, but society as a whole is moving towards the acceptance
of it. There are references to genetic engineering in ObamaCare in as much as
using eugenics for its cost savings benefits.
It is a valid point. Think about
this: they are weighing the cost
effectiveness of determining in utero whether a person will make a productive
adult or be dependent their entire lives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> An article in <i>Forbes
</i>suggests that science will never be able to write the complete genetic code
from the ground up, but the Human Genome Project is making progress every
day. There are plenty of scientists and
ethicists who claim that eugenics and gene therapy is and is not moral and/or
ethical. There are pamphlets available
to anyone who cares to see about how exactly cloning, genetic engineering and
stem cell harvesting can be done and how it can benefit an ailing family. One can assume that as your bank account
grows, so too do your options for creating the perfect little family and the
pamphlets for gene therapy may be stacked right alongside the ones for STIs and
planned parenthood. Eugenics does bring
a whole new connotation to “planned parenthood” doesn’t it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> Simple eugenics is already in action in our town, in the
offices of every obstetrician in practice when we test fetuses for Down’s
Syndrome, or view an ultrasound and make the decision to abort a fetus that has
severe congenital anomalies. Human kind is already benefitting from this, and
can benefit further if we can prevent diseases such as Tay-Sach’s, Sickle Cell
Anemia, and Cystic Fibrosis. We must
recognize that these are not the only implications and sometimes we will be
hard pressed to maintain our composure and keep our opinions to ourselves. It will become part of the essence of
professional nursing care to recognize elective surgeries and procedures no
matter what form they come in and carry out our duties to our clients. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> This topic was not intended to pit one side against the
other, or to vilify anyone; merely to raise the issue that as professionals we
will be providing care for these women and their babies. We owe it to our clients and ourselves to
stay apprised of advances in medicine that make it more and more likely that we
will encounter this. We cannot hide from
technology, but we can embrace it and enrich ourselves and the lives of our
clients if we are better educated. <br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Bibliography<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(2010).
Disease Elimination. <i>Future Human
Evolution. </i> Retrieved from </span><a href="http://www.humansfuture.org/genetic_engineering_disease_elimination.php.htm"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">http://www.humansfuture.org/genetic_engineering_disease_elimination.php.htm</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(2010).
Eugenics, Genetic Engineering Lite. <i>Future
Human Evolution. </i> Retrieved from </span><a href="http://www.humansfuture.org/genetic_engineering_eugenics.php.htm"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">http://www.humansfuture.org/genetic_engineering_eugenics.php.htm</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Brochures
for Patients: Human Cloning and Genetic Modification. <i>Association of Reproductive Health Professionals. </i>Retrieved from </span><a href="http://www.arhp.org/publications-and-resources/patient-resources/printed-materials/cloning"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">http://www.arhp.org/publications-and-resources/patient-resources/printed-materials/cloning</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Knapp,
Alex. (September 15, 2011). Is Ethical Human Genetic Enhancement Possible. <i>Forbes.</i>
Retrieved from </span><a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/alexknapp/2011/09/15/is-ethical-human-genetic-enhancement-possible/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">http://www.forbes.com/sites/alexknapp/2011/09/15/is-ethical-human-genetic-enhancement-possible/</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Taranto,
James. (March 15, 2010). ObamaCare and Eugenics. <i>The
Wall Street Journal.</i> Retrieved from </span><a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703909804575123590196012672.html"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703909804575123590196012672.html</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Walsh,
Fergus. (October 20, 2004). Brother’s tissue ‘cures’ sick boy. <i> BBC
News.</i> Retrieved from </span><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3756556.stm"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3756556.stm</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Wilcken, B. (September 27, 2011). Ethical issues
in genetics.<i> Journal of Paediatrics and
Child Health, 47(9), 668-671. </i>Doi:<i> </i>10.1111/j.1440-1754.2011.02168.x
Retrieved from </span><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1440-1754.2011.02168.x/full"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1440-1754.2011.02168.x/full</span></a><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8110206943116637591.post-32884945177286983812012-01-16T19:19:00.000-05:002012-01-16T19:19:11.287-05:00Thought provokingSo I am coming off of a stomach bug that may or may not have been the cause of my three day migraine from hell last week. I felt awful, I couldn't get anything done and I felt like a narcoleptic in class. It sucked. I am however, thankful to be more back to my old self today. I still have some residual nausea, but I am able to think and concentrate. <br /><br />
That sure does make it easier to study and make progress on projects for school.<br />
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So the current project that I am up to is a research paper for Obstetrics. I don't really know that I could count it as a research paper since it is only supposed to be two pages long, but it is on current trends in modern obstetrics. There are several suggestions that we can use, or we can come up with our own, and leave it to me to come up with something controversial and, I think, thought provoking. <br />
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I am sure that it will do it's fair share of pissing people off and making them call me all sorts of names. It's ok, I can take it, at least I will make people think. I think that once I'm finished with the paper, I'll post it here for who ever is interested to read.<br />
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The topic I have chosen is "Genetic Engineering and Eugenics in Modern Obstetrics."<br />
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Hehehe, what do you think?Shaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07850555241066724758noreply@blogger.com0