Saturday, April 28, 2012

Trying to remain positive

So, I took some photos today, intending to show myself how I was doing with my diet and exercise.  What ended up happening was me feeling badly about myself.  They look exactly like pictures I took last September.  Maybe a little worse.

What I am trying to get through my head is that right after I took those pics, I fell off the wagon, and I put on a lot of weight.  I also wasn't really weighing myself regularly at that time.

I am trying to keep up positive thoughts by remembering, that at my heaviest, i was 242 pounds, and I refused to log it on my Spark People site because I was in denial.  Something had to be wrong with the scales.  Even though they are the ones the hospital uses every day.  I was retaining water.  Something.  Anything.  I had a real hard time with that.

The truth is that for some reason last fall, I put on about 20 pounds in about 3 months.  That's hard on a body.  Anyone's body. I keep telling myself that I have come a long way from 242 pounds, and am now at 228.7 (as of yesterday) and that I need to keep up the good work!

I mean, really, losing 14 pounds is no small feat.  That took a lot of sweat, a lot of good choices, and I can lose even more.  I just have to keep reminding myself, keep up the will power and drive and get off my butt and exercise.

Hey, I got into a size smaller pants yesterday :)  That should keep me going for a while!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Feeling disappointed and let down

So, I worked hard and got accepted to Walter State's LPN to RN bridge that starts in a week and a half.  My advisor at the career center referred me to a lady in a different department for some possible sponsorship for my fees and all.

That lady told me (and my friend) that there should be no problem getting us sponsored because they had not helped us with anything.

Today is the deadline to have my tuition and fees paid.  I can't get a student loan, not eligible for financial aid like pell grants, and I can't get the lady on the phone.  The last time I talked to her was Tuesday when I was on my way up for orientation.  I feel like she is avoiding talking to me. I really just want to know one way or the other.

I think that's fair.  I appreciate that she is trying to get me some sponsorship, but I think she should return my phone calls or answer my emails or something.  Just tell me- what did the head boss man in Atlanta say?  Have we even heard back from him?  Anything would be helpful.

Depression is creeping up on me since I'm not hearing back form her, because if she can't help, then I can't go.

I don't want to have to wait and be in a program that takes longer.


Monday, April 9, 2012

Getting healthier... little things leading to success

So, I thought it might be good for me to sit down and write about the things that are adding up to success for me and what they mean to me right now.

First thing is, I have been asking Raven nonstop if he notices a difference in my body since I have been losing weight.  What I keep hearing is "Not really, I see you everyday."  That changed Sunday afternoon.  With out being asked or anything, he finally saw a huge change in how I look and what my body is doing.  All he had to say was "DAYUM BABY!"


I had another a-ha moment at school today when a class mate asked me how much weight I have lost, and told me that is shows and I look great.  While I still don't feel like I have lost a huge amount (12 pounds), I know it does make a difference, and I can't wait until I have lost a lot more.

Some of the things that are making me successful are knowing that I need to portion things.  When I started playing at trying to lose weight last year, i invested in a digital scale from Walmart.  Some of the best money I have spent.  While $20 is not a lot, it has sure been worth it to me.  I have found that if I portion things out and have snacks and meals ready, i do a lot better.  I don't have to guess what a portion is, or spend time getting it all ready every morning before I leave.  I have a basket of snacks ready to go on the table, and my lunches made up in the fridge.  I throw it in my lunch box and head out the door.

Taking the extra time to cook up food and portion it is a big time saver, and a waist saver.  When I come home from the store, any snack that is not already in individual portions gets put that way fast.  I refuse to chance eating a whole bag of snack mix and ruining my diet for the week by being lazy.  It also doesn't take me any longer to cook 4 chicken breasts than it does to cook 2, and I have at least 2 lunches done for the next couple of days.

Learning to weigh and measure things has been a big step for me.  It takes dedication to make yourself weigh or measure everything you put in to your body.  Committing to doing it, and following through is making my goals turn in to realities.  I had this conversation today with another class mate who asked me what I was doing to lose weight.  Measuring what you put in to your body is crucial.

Not circling the parking lot for a close space.  I don't mind the walking any more.  Even if I'm in a hurry, I still park where ever I happen to find a space and just go on in.  It may not seem like a lot of extra walking, but every step adds up.

Being dedicated to getting my workouts in during the week.  I know that in order to be successful at my goals, I have to work for it.  I didn't gain all this weight overnight and there is no magic pill or word that is going to take it off overnight.  I have to earn it.  It's not going to be easy.  It is going to require continued dedication, sweat, and probably a few unkind names to my treadmill.  It's ok, she can take it.

Anyway, those are some things I have thought about lately, and I thought it might help someone else... or inspire someone to get to work themselves.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Role modeling

I've come to a conclusion lately.

Being a role model is kind of awesome.

I've had several people tell me that I have inspired them to start exercising more.  That makes me feel fabulous.  I can't even begin to describe the pride I have in myself thinking that I have led people to get healthier.