Saturday, August 13, 2011

Having a Hard Time

I am not sure how much I have wrote about my sister before, and I know I have wrote some about my mom.  My sister is my half sister, we have different dads, and her dad has been dead for at least 10 years now.  She never really knew him. So our mom raised her.  Solely.  I have found that this is bad because it has warped my sister's sense of how the world works and given her a sense of entitlement.  She has a lot of the same feelings that mom had, in that she feels the world owes her something.  I know it sounds really shitty to talk about my sister this way, but I am  just being honest.  She was warped by just having mom raise her.  That is the simple truth of it.  That being said, she is very irresponsible, and she is selfish. 
Several years ago, she asked me about her father.  I didn't have nice things to say about him, but I knew that he had passed and I offered to try and find her father's family if she wanted me to.  She had only met any of them when she was an infant, and I was a teenager, so I had more to go on.  Mom had burned all the photos of him that there were, so Lindsey never even had a picture of him.  I felt bad, even though it wasn't my doing.  I set out to find her family for her. 
Her grandmother was a school teacher for Anderson County Schools.  Her grandfather did something for ORNL/Y-12.  I didn't know what her Uncle did.  I was sure that her great grandparents had passed on because they were old when I knew them.  Her grandparents lived in Norris, which is really small.  Armed with this information (and their names), I did some research and found that her grandfather had passed away.  If I remember correctly, he had passed away rather recently when I found them all for her.  Her uncle has a shop in Kingston and is married.  He looks just like her father.  I got in touch with her uncle, through his shop's website and that was the beginning of it. 
He tried to make up for lost time and gifted her with a fairly large sum of money.  She and her husband were living with my husband and I at the time.  They were driving one of our cars.  They didn't pay rent, didn't buy groceries or chip in on anything.  Hell, she got her GED because I showed her what to fill out and when to go take the test.  We had asked them to get jobs.  They hadn't even looked.  My husband and I were really frustrated with the whole situation.  Not to mention that they had either 4 or 6 cats that just *had* to come and live with them.  (yes I am rolling my eyes) It was very stressful and when we pushed, gently, to get them to pitch in and get jobs, they decided to go live with her Uncle and his family.  It didn't last very long.  I think they quickly found out the same things that we did- they basically wanted to mooch- and my sister and her husband went back to Kingsport. 
A few months ago, my sister came down to go to Norris to visit her grandmother.  I felt then, and still do, that the only reason Lindsey went to go visit her was because she was old and sick and "let's see how much I can make grandma like me and put me in her will" kind of thing.  I don't know that Lindsey truly loves anyone.  I think because of the way she was raised, in the conditions she was in that she doesn't really know what love is.  I really think she just wanted to see what she could get out of her. 
She recently vanished.  She broke up with her boyfriend (she's been divorced for a while now), she deleted her Facebook account, changed her phone number and doesn't respond to emails.  I got a message from her aunt a couple of weeks ago that her grandmother was sick.  I got a message from her yesterday that her grandmother has died.  So because I am the responsible one, I am left with trying to contact someone who probably really doesn't care that she died, and will only just go through the motions to see what she can get out of it.  I really also have no way to reach her.  I finally messaged her ex boyfriend and he gave me a few numbers that seem to be getting me in touch with her, at least that is the way it looks. 
I am faced with the dilema of knowing she doesn't care but feeling bad because I think she has a right to know that her grandmother has died.  *SIGH*  Sometimes I really hate being the responsible one out of our family. 

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