Tuesday, April 26, 2011


 I emailed a few friends today who I feel are very spiritually connected. I asked for their prayers and their good energies, if they could spare them. I felt a need to ask for their help. I have received responses back from 3 out of 4 of them. One of the last responses was to make sure I took time to ground myself and just be in the moment. So, for the first time in such a long time that I can’t remember, I went outside. I went without the dog to the back yard as if drawn and just picked the spot that felt right and sat down. I could feel the earth below me, the sun warm on my face, the wind in my hair and I could hear the stream below for a long time. After a while, a gentle rain began to kiss my skin. I spent the time meditating, and connecting myself to the Mother. I spoke to those I love who have went on. I spent time and thanked the Universe for allowing me to have this life, and all the experiences that it has entailed and I was at peace. I felt a wonderful glowing golden energy surround me. As corny as it seems that is what I felt. I think it might have been all the energies of my friends coming to envelope me in warmth.

     I know I have cancer. I just know. I have seen the signs and I hope that I am wrong, but I know that I am not. All this almost feels too hokey to be true, but I know this as well as I know my own name. I have cancer. I don’t know beyond that right now, and that is ok. I let the Universe know that I am at peace, and whatever road they have chosen for me to walk, I will walk it.

     There was also an insistence, or urgency from Crow. After the rain began to come down a little more insistently, I came back inside and looked it up. Crow says “See Also Raven” and I will get to that in a minute, but I wanted to discuss the messages that Crow is supposed to be giving and analyze them.

     • You’re on the verge of manifesting something you’ve been working toward for a while.
     • Be very watchful over the next couple of days for any clear omens or signs that will guide you and teach you.
     • Expect a big change very soon.
     • You’ve noticed something that’s out of balance or an injustice that hasn’t been addressed, and it’s important to speak up about it.
     • You’re about to get a glimpse into some future event that affects you directly.

     Let’s start with the first one: I think this could be a couple of things. It could be that my student loans are getting ready to be out of default and I will be getting financial assistance this term. It could be that I am progressing on my chosen career path. Those are my thoughts on that subject.
     The second one is a gentle reminder, I think, that I should pay attention. Especially considering what is going on right now and what I am getting ready to face.
     Three- duh. I kind of expected that.
     Four-Maybe the out of balance part is the pain I’ve been feeling. I can’t go a whole day without pelvic pain at this point, so that could be that answer.
     Five- I don’t know. I really can’t see that far, but I think that is the point.

     Now on to what Raven said, which is very different from brother Crow, but also just as relevant:
      • Magic is in the air, and something special is about to happen.
      • Pay attention to dreams and visions, especially colorful and powerful ones, as these are indicative of prophecy.
      • In any undertaking or in any relationship, be very clear as to what your intentions are because whatever they are, that’s what will manifest.
      • You’re gradually shape-shifting to a more confident, powerful, and spiritually based you that will continue to emerge the more you let go of your old self.
      • You’ll observe an increasing number of synchronistic events over the next few days, so just notice these, appreciate them, and don’t try to figure them out.

     Well, some of that really mirrors what Crow said, but it is also different. I feel like magic is in the air most of the time, so the first part is really sort of redundant to me.
     The second one makes more sense. This has been the first time I have sat down and tried to connect since I put a name to my religion. I had lots of bursts of colorful energy and swirling that I have not experienced before. Maybe I am out of my mind, but it was real and there for me. I am not discounting it.
     The third part really feels more like common sense to me. I try to go after things this way with everything. Make sure I put into it the energy I want to get back out. This is sort of my philosophy on much of life: be good to each other, and don’t put negative energy into something and expect to get positive energy out of it.
     This one is most definitely true. I can feel this all the time, or more often now than I have ever felt in the past. Christianity was wrong for me. It never felt right like this does. This is like home, and I have missed it.
     With the last one, like the Crow, I just need to pay attention. Perhaps I will have a lot of signs over the next few days. I’ll be quietly observant for them. I think I already had one, Pigeon that I saw Easter morning as I left work. Raven does not put much stock in Pigeon, but the pigeons I have seen around in my life fly away as soon as you start towards them. Perhaps that is why I saw Pigeon. The message was for me and I accepted it. I will talk about Pigeon’s message later.

      I have taken the time to write up these revelations because it feels important to me somehow. I’m not sure how yet, but again, it feels right. Now I just have to locate a site to post my diary and we can go from there.

     Now, something that made me giggle, and I think laughter is pretty good for me right now:

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